Broken
by Jonathan Priest
Summary: .Hack-After the defeat of Magus, Kite and BlackRose reflect seperately on all the events that has transpired, and are threatened to be crushed by the weight of it all. (Completed) Please Read and Review
1. Chapter 1: Breaking Point

Disclaimer.Hack is not mine, don't sue me.  
  
Info: This story takes place after the defeat of Magus in Mutation. Kite's POV of the events of the corruption of the servers and how the weight of everything he's gone through is slowly destroying him. An angst filled story...I love angst.  
  
A/N: Please, if you read this story be ever so kind enough to review...thank you.  
  
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Broken: Chapter 1: Breaking Point  
  
"DAMMIT!!!" Kite screamed into the open air, his voice echoing out over the currents of the virtual wind. At times he was amazed at the pure realism of the digital world, but those moments of wonder and fascination seemed so long forgotten, that The World no longer held it's wondrous spell over him. Now it all seemed as if he were drifting in the middle of the ocean with a great weight tied around his neck. Even trying to keep his head above water was an effort, and it was a struggle he was desperately losing.  
  
Taking two unsure steps from the point in which he had gated into this field, Kite collapsed to his knees and felt the tears burn at the corners of his eyes. It had all gone so wrong. When he had gotten the bracelet from Aura, when Orca...Yasuhiko went into a coma, he had a reason, he truly felt justified for what he was doing. But that was before. Before the defeat of Magus, before returning to Carmina Gadelica and seeing the viral displacement of random binary code pepper the various buildings, ground and sky of the cultural city, leaving ugly blotches of color that revealed the system code beneath the skin textures of the city. What had he done?  
  
If this was only the third Phase to be defeated, if it caused this kind of system error to occur after just the third battle, then what would happen after the next, or the final Phase was defeated? Would the whole system shut down in error? Would they be helping the coma victims at all? He no longer knew that answer, and looking back over the past couple of months, at the fear of confronting the Phases with his partner, knowing that if they had made even one mistake they would end their adventure the same way as Orca, he realized he never knew that answer. It was never a certainty that they was doing the right thing, only a blind hope that in some vain recess of his mind, he could make a difference, could bring back the coma patients and fix The World, save The World. How arrogant.  
  
Of course, there was so much more than the simply the corruption of the Root Towns, it seemed chaos was spreading frantically through every portion of his life. He saw Mia, the oddly designed cat-character sway drunkenly through Carmina Gadelica, yet when approached her, reached his hand out to steady her and ask her what was wrong, she lashed out at him in an anger akin to madness. He couldn't deny it hadn't terrified him. But then, he wasn't very close to Mia in the first place, she seemed to only tag along on whatever adventure she wanted to, so maybe somewhere within the edited character, she harbored some madness, kept it hidden all this time. Honestly, he doubted this though; it could simply have been that the breakdown of the system was too much for her, just as it had been for Mistral.  
  
He remembered that too. In fact, after she told him, he came immediately to this random field from the Delta Server...wanting to be alone, wanting to drown in his own uncertainty. Mistral...a bored housewife on an apparently perpetual sugar high that only wanted a little adventure to break up the monotony of her day, had found this all too much to handle. But when she told him she was going to have a baby, that she could no longer take the risks of all the dangers he seemed to knowingly yet unwillingly involve himself in, his whole world seemed to crash around him. If Mistral had been unable to handle the risks in what they were all doing, how many of his friends would desert him too. Of course, he wouldn't blame them, none of them, if they decided to leave...in fact; he wanted nothing more than to desert The World himself.  
  
But then, there was BlackRose. She had had her own mission from the start, and so many times she was his motivation and source of inspiration for continuing in this arrogant quest to save The World. But seeing her when they returned victorious from defeating Magus, seeing the utter terror screaming from her eyes that seemed to mirror his own fear of what had become of Carmina Gadelica, he wondered if she wasn't feeling the same uncertainty he was. Could they continue to risk The World like they did? More importantly, if she chose Mistral's path, simply walk away...would he have the courage to continue without her? It was a rhetorical question of course, he knew he wouldn't, she was the force behind his will, and he knew he would lose the moment she left.  
  
Maybe Lios was right all along; maybe they had overstepped their bounds. Maybe they were only illegal players, showing their own ignorance in believing they could make a difference. Sure, he had the bracelet, but had it given him anything but grief? Every time he used it, he remembered Yasuhiko being data drained by Skeith. Was it anything he truly wanted? All he wanted was to play within The World...make some new friends and waste some time on what he originally perceived as 'only a game.' But he couldn't get that back...too much has already happened. Rumors that hackers were responsible for the corruption of The World. By hackers, CC Corp meant Helba, and just as likely, BlackRose and himself. Helba was a hacker...but to paint himself and BlackRose with the same brush was a bit harsh. Yet that caused him only more trouble, his conscience screaming angrily at him for involving BlackRose in the first place, for her to face the same persecution he did. All of it, the uncertainty, the accusations, the fear...it was all too much for him to handle. And he sat alone in the isolated field, not even aware that he could no longer see through the tears that clouded his eyes.  
  
He reached his left hand to wrist of his right arm and searched the area just above his hand with his fingers, seeking out the bracelet that was invisible to him. He wanted to tug at it, rip it away from his body. Dispose of it because no one should have this cursed item. What was the point of it? If using it only caused more problems...then getting rid of it should fix it. All he ever wanted was to play the game, he wasn't a hero, he was just a kid pretending to be a hero, and even that sounded arrogant to him.  
  
But he couldn't find the bracelet, couldn't find the source of all of his worries and fears, couldn't tear it away from his arm and be free of it, so he picked up his two short swords, and standing unsteadily, hurled them as hard as could into the field.  
  
"I can't do this anymore!" He screamed, his voice cracking from the strain as he forced his words out harder than intended. "I don't want it! Just take it away from me...I don't deserve it. Please..." He begged now, his voice slipping as he felt back to his knees, tears finding their way from his eyes once more. "Just let me go. I can't handle this anymore."  
  
But no voice called out to him, no words of comfort found their way to his troubled mind. All that moved within The World was the virtual wind that carried his voice into some unknown, distant domain. When it all came down to it...he was alone. Aura, the girl who put her faith in him to save her would not come to comfort him. All he could do was scream at the emptiness around him, and pray he could find a way out of his fate. 


	2. Chapter 2: Have I Lost You?

Disclaimer: .Hack is not mine.  
  
A/N: This chapter is from BlackRose's POV and takes place in the real world. As no one knows what her real name is, I'm naming her Kiri Kasumi. Don't ask me why, I just liked the way it sounded. Heh. As always, if you're kind enough to read my work, please be kind enough to review. Danke.  
  
Broken, Chapter 2: Have I lost you?  
  
"I don't know...if what we're doing is the right thing anymore."  
  
His words echoed back to her, repeating as if in sync with the beating of her trembling heart. It was the suffering, despondent tone of his voice that had defeated her every time those words repeated themselves in her mind. The very deadness of his voice, the sorrow and uncertainty in his eyes had cut her in two, as she was torn between the need to hold him as tightly as she could and tell him it would work out in the end because she couldn't bring herself to believe any other way, and the need to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he worked his way out of the uncertainty that now consumed him.  
  
But she hadn't done either. She simply logged out, taking the cowards way of resolution and revealing to him for the first time, had he noticed, the player behind the fiery Heavy Blade he called his partner. She loved the character BlackRose, it was who she always wanted to be, strong and beautiful and willing to take any chance necessary to save those she cared about. But in his moment of weakness, in his self-destructive contemplation, he not only stripped away his own illusion of strength, but hers as well. And in that moment, it had been more than she could handle.  
  
The minutes seemed to stretch indefinitely, as she sat in the less than comfortable desk chair, staring into the blank visual screens of her virtual helmet. Even after logging off, she wasn't at all eager to remove the headset, to return to the reality of her life, to become once again the awkward teenager who seemed popular only because she was good at tennis and swimming and other things most couldn't do well.  
  
The World was her refuge, the place where she could escape the harsh reality of life. Where she actually felt she was doing something for her brother other than simply sitting by his hospital bed and watching the various mechanical apparatuses feed oxygen into his body. But then, he had changed all of that with a simple question. The Twin Blade, just as scared and uncertain as she was about what they were doing, asked her in so many words, if they should quit these dangerous missions. Stop tampering with the fundamental fabric of The World and just let it work itself out.  
  
'Of course,' She thought to herself angrily as she removed her VR Helmet with her shaking hands, carefully placing it on the desk beside the monitor. 'If he decided to just give it up, what chance do I have? He's the one with the bracelet, I'm just the one tagging along in his shadow.'  
  
Curling and flexing her fingers in an attempt to get feeling back into the extremities of her hands, Kiri Kasumi sighed heavily at her own powerlessness, not yet noticing the tears that began to cloud her eyes. The tears didn't at all concern her however; they had become a habit over the last several months. Logging out of The World only to return to reality, the weight of her own tragedy nearly caused her to break. It had been this way ever since Kazu fell from this very chair and had yet to awaken. That's why she followed Kite around The World. It wasn't just to cure her brother, but to find what caused so many players to fall into comas. To, in her own hopes, prevent any other person's brother from falling into a coma as well. But when Kite question their own mission, when he had thought they had gone too far, he tore away her hope for saving her brother along with him...and that was what had made her feel so helpless. It was as if her brother had fallen into a coma all over again. The helplessness, the powerlessness, it all flooded back into her heart and threatened to strangle her in her own grief as the tears began to fall freely from her eyes.  
  
For several moments she stared through clouded eyes at the blank monitor, as if by some unrealized obsession she'd find the answers to the mystery she desperately sought to unravel. It didn't come, and in all the time she had performed this ritualistic ceremony, she never gained any new insight into what was stalking the players within The World. It was all a hopeless dream, and in her most desperate moments, she only had to look at Kite, to see his determination to realize she couldn't give up either. But now, he had given up, and she felt herself sinking into that same, unwavering hopelessness that had consumed her partner. Without him, what would she do?  
  
Pulling away from the blank screen that unflinchingly stared at her, she took in the contents of the room she had shared with her brother in the two bedroom flat her parents had purchased upon their arrival in Tokyo. Nearly four years ago, when her grandmother had fallen ill, her parents decided to move to Tokyo so her father could be with his mother. After she passed, there was no real reason to return to the United States, and this is where they made their home.  
  
Sharing the larger of the two bedrooms, the siblings had come to an unspoken agreement that each would have their own side of the room, and that was that. Kiri's half was a shrine to the various sports and athletic activities she was constantly involved in, both in school and on an individual level. Her dream was to play tennis professionally, and though she considered herself good, she was far from where she wanted to be.  
  
Of course, dreams hadn't held the same wonder they once had. Not since her brother had fallen into a coma. She looked over at his bed and the various posters that decorated his wall and felt the desperation once again squeeze her heart. She loved her brother, and though she hated ever having to share a room with him, the absence of seeing him lying on his bed playing whatever stupid hand held game he was currently into only caused her to suffer more.  
  
"Does a big sister always have to be happy?" She asked the words aloud, not quite catching the quiver in her voice but finding it more difficult to see his bed through the building tears that threatened to fall from her eyes again. As much as he had annoyed her, as much as she wished she had her own privacy, she realized she hadn't been happy a single day since that incident.  
  
"Kiri?" The gentle voice of her mother called from the doorframe, drawing her mind out of her own suffering scrutiny and causing her to realize she had been staring at the empty bed of her brother for several minutes. "You okay sweetie?"  
  
Kiri shrugged her shoulders and seemed to shrink in upon herself as she turned her watery eyes towards her mother's concerned face. "I miss him mom." She said, struggling to get the words out beyond the grief that constricted her throat.  
  
A sad smile creased her mother's features as she took a tentative step into the bedroom, struggling hard to retain her own sorrow caused by her absent child who was lying unconscious in a hospital bed.  
  
"It's just, I can't do anything for him...I can't help him at all. I feel helpless and I don't know what to do." She whispered, her voice no longer finding the strength to carry an audible pitch.  
  
Her mother entered the room and stopped in front of Kiri. Lowering herself to her knees, she pulled the suffering teenager into her arms and held her tightly to her. "I know, I feel the same way. But we have to have faith; we have to believe he'll come back to us. If we lose hope...well, we can't do that. What use would we be to him then?"  
  
"But, what use am I to him?" Kiri whispered into her mother's shoulder, trying desperately to hold back the tears that grew stronger with each moment of doubt. "I know I picked on him, and gave him a hard time...but now that he's gone, I realize how much he means to me." Kiri hiccupped as she struggled to hold back the cascading grief that threatened to overwhelm her. As she confessed her fears to her mother though, she wasn't sure if she was talking about Kazu or Kite. Somewhere in the recesses of her tortured heart, she knew she was referring to both of them.  
  
"I wanted to be strong mom..." She said as the violent sob that broke from her body caused her to pause a moment and try to bring herself under control. She couldn't tell, nor had she wondered whether the shaking of her body was from her tears or her mother's. "I just want to do what's best."  
  
"Then believe in him Kiri." Her mother whispered, her voice shaking as badly as her daughter's. "He isn't gone, he's just lost. Help him find his way back...that's all we can hope to do."  
  
And so the dam broke, as Kiri wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck and let all the grief and tears she fought so long to conceal from her parents pour out of her body and soul. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, but for what she wasn't even sure of, and as the tears continued, she wondered if she'd ever stop crying. As the deep sobs wracked her body, she knew that Kite wasn't the only the only one who had lost their way. She joined her partner in his own crumbled faith...two souls lost in the despair of uncertainty. And she wasn't sure if they'd ever find their way back.  
  
-To be Continued 


	3. Chapter 3: Talking to Ghosts

Disclaimer: Reality is a viciously cold shower. Oh all right...I wish I owned it but I don't. .Hack is not mine...never has been, never will be. Yeah, reality sucks...  
  
A/N: Geez my muse is working some serious overtime. Since I enjoyed writing the last chapter so much, I'm taking a similar approach with this one. Kite's POV in the real world. Since no one knows his name, I'm calling him Ralph. Just kidding. I've written his name as Minari Sato. Again, as always...please review my story if you've read it. I thank everyone for his or her kind reviews. Oh...and sorry Goldberry, you'll just have to read faster...hahahahahahahahaha  
  
Oh yeah, "" marks are spoken, Brackets [ ] are thought. Sorry if this gets confusing. Now, on with the chapter.  
  
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Broken, Chapter 3: Talking to Ghosts  
  
Room 712 of Niizato University Hospital's long-term intensive care ward was like any other hospital room Minari Sato had ever been in. Subtle, unimaginative wallpaper painted the room in a hue of beige color that was neither pleasant nor offensive, simply boring. Of course, the overpowering scent of cleanliness reminded Minari how sterilizing this room was meant to be. He imagined with some amusement that his mother would like to see his own room this clean, scent and all.  
  
But any traces of amusement slipped from his mind immediately upon staring at the prone figure lying in the hospital bed. Countless tubes and wires and all manner of machinery were hooked up to the young boy as if his very survival depended upon the efficiency by which the machines performed their life saving function. It wasn't an easy sight to witness, staring at the unconscious teenager, as Minari recalled so many memories of his lively smile and brilliant sense of humor that made Yasuhiko so very popular in all their classes. But there was no liveliness shining from his trademark smile that was absent from his slack face, no adventure and love of life from his sleeping form, only the occasional beep and whirl of the machines that kept him from slipping further into the abyss.  
  
Normally visitors in the intensive care ward were restricted to family members only, but Yasuhiko's mother had forcefully told the hospital staff that Minari was family and to allow him to visit whenever he wanted. It was all Minari could do to keep from crying when he heard Yasuhiko's mother say those words. Of course, he wasn't surprised. He and Yasuhiko always joked about having two families, "yours and mine" but to hear it spoken, confirmed in such a moment of undeniable stress and grief nearly ripped him in two. It was that day that he made himself keep to the two commitments he made. He would devote two days of every week, one to visit Yasuhiko after school, and one to visit Yasuhiko's mother on the weekend. He could not, nor would he want to replace Yasuhiko, but he could live up to her faith in him as the "adopted" son. It was the only thing he had faith in anymore.  
  
And wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he turned away from his best friend and stared out the window as if searching for some answer that remained as lost to him as the young teenager lying on the bed. However, the answers would not be found here, they were in The World. It had been...well truthfully, Minari wasn't sure how long it had been since he logged into The World. Certainly not since he had spoken to his partner BlackRose about whether or not they were doing the right thing, defeating the Phases and everything else their misadventure was leading them to do. But whether that was four...maybe five days ago, he wasn't sure. Everything that had happened within The World over the past few months happened so quickly that the events were jumbled around inside his head until he could no longer determine when and how events had taken place. Everything had just spiraled out of control.  
  
"You missed another test Yasu." Minari said, his soft voice breaking the uncomfortable silence of the room. He imagined it would seem pretty odd for anyone to enter the room now and hear him talking to the unconscious teenager, but it had become a source of survival for him, carrying on a conversation as if Yasuhiko were awake and could answer him. Of course, that wasn't totally untrue. He knew Yasuhiko well enough to imagine his friend's comments, and sometimes, when he couldn't handle seeing his unconscious friend any longer, he'd close his eyes and pretend he was standing in front of him, carrying on the conversation regardless.  
  
"Or wait...I think I told you that on Tuesday didn't I? Well, we got the tests back today. I did okay...well I passed anyway. Wasn't the best test I've ever scored, and I could almost hear you laughing at me because it wasn't a great score at all. But then I had to remind myself that you weren't there to laugh at me."  
  
[Don't worry Nari; I was there to laugh at you, even if you couldn't see me.] The words came unbidden to Minari. But it wasn't his voice he heard echoing in his mind, it was Yasuhiko's.  
  
Closing his eyes, Minari imagined his friend next to him, the untidy jeans and wrinkled button-down shirt he wore as his own fashion statement of anti- conformity. His hair was neatly mussed, as if purposefully wind-blown, and his trademark crooked smile painted his face with a look of the Cheshire cat swallowing a canary. He often marveled at that smile, and wondered how many countless hours Yasuhiko spent in front of the mirror before perfecting it.  
  
But as soon as Minari pictured his friend, the smile had vanished and Yasuhiko's clear gray eyes cut piercingly into him. He knew that look as well, it was the look his friend gave him when he didn't want to fool around, when he needed to talk to him seriously.  
  
[So, why do you keep coming back Minari? This has made it every day this week.]  
  
Minari stood there, looking at the imagined image of Yasuhiko in his mind. He worried only briefly that, should someone enter now, as he was about to converse in such a one-sided conversation with himself, he'd be committed. He sighed deeply, trying to find the words. "I miss you Yasu. Life just isn't as much fun anymore."  
  
The mental image of his friend furrowed his brow and frowned slightly, as if lost in what to say. [But I'm still here Nari], the imagined Yasuhiko said, turning his head to look at his prone form on the hospital bed. [Well, partly. But you can't keep doing this to yourself. Stop living in the past and do what you have to do for the future.]  
  
"Sure, easy for you to say. Your not real, just what I'd imagine Yasuhiko would say that's all." Minari shot back, his eyes glaring at his friend on the hospital bed.  
  
[I'm real enough that you'd invite yourself to have a conversation with me.]  
  
"Then that makes you a ghost." Minari replied. "Either that or I'm finally going mad."  
  
[You're perfectly sane and I'm not a ghost either you idiot. I'm Yasuhiko, the voice you can hear from your heart if you'd stop a moment to listen. Just like I'd know exactly what you would say to me if our positions were switched.] But the imagined Yasuhiko's face shifted abruptly from mild amusement to deep concern. [We need to talk.]  
  
"Yeah, right. So, seen any good movies lately? Oh, I forgot...your not seeing much of anything are you? So tell me, what can we possibly talk about?" Minari angrily said, stopping as he found it ironic that he himself told his unconscious friend about the missed test just minutes before. Yasuhiko however didn't flinch, didn't react in the slightest, and it unnerved Minari how accurate his memory of his friend was, how the real Yasuhiko would react the same as the memory that reflected from his mind. It painted the whole illusion with frightful accuracy.  
  
"Damn you Yasu...why'd you have to pick that field? Why'd I have to agree to go with you on that day? Why couldn't we have just played a game that was only supposed to be a game?" Minari paused as he turned his face toward the ceiling, blinking away the tears from his eyes that began to swim in his stormy orbs. "God I hate this."  
  
[I know Nari...I'd be in the same boat your in if our positions were switched. But fate operates in strange ways.]  
  
"Don't talk about fate to me Yasu, you know I don't believe in it." Minari sighed heavily as he closed his eyes again to view the image of his friend.  
  
[But you can't deny that this was in some way fated to happen. Every event of our lives leads us to the current events we face, which will take us to the future. Everything happens for a reason.]  
  
"I don't feel like debating this with you." Minari answered, his voice rising a bit at his own impatience.  
  
[Then what do you want?]  
  
"I already told you, I want you back...awake and alive, just how I remembered you. Not just some cloudy memory I see in my head so I can justify talking to myself...but the real you." He sighed as he sank deeper in the chair, not opening his eyes as he knew the image of his friend would vanish the moment he did. "I'm scared Yasu. What if, by some miracle, we manage to defeat all the Phases without destroying the program, and you still don't wake up? What if this is all for nothing?"  
  
[It's not nothing if you have even a fraction of hope that it will work. Hope, often enough, will save you when you have nothing else.]  
  
"But hope can also destroy you." Minari said, his voice weak and exhausted as he rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands and opted to change the subject. "I...met Balmung. We've made a sort of peace. Thought you might want to know. We're not at each other's throats anymore; we've joined forces to solve this problem...to bring you back. So, come back, okay?"  
  
Minari stared at the imagined image of Yasuhiko in his mind, waiting for some reply, but none came, and the weight of the loss of his best friend tore at his heart once more as he realized how ridiculous he was to instigate this conversation in the first place. All the words he heard in his mind, all the wise pearls of wisdom his friend had spouted off at him were merely words he would have said had he been conscious. But there was nothing to be said; as Minari realized he and Yasuhiko had never faced a tragedy like this before...he didn't know what advice his friend would have given him. Minari opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at his unconscious friend, forgetting his own desperate need to hear Yasuhiko say everything would be okay, because deep within his heart, he wasn't so sure if it would work out that way in the end.  
  
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore Yasu. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or just thinking I'm foolish enough to make a difference. I only wish you were here to help me through this, but your not."  
  
"A great force; its power can bring forth either salvation or destruction...at the whim of the user. That's what Aura told me...and I've been trying so hard Yasu. But defeating the third Phase, seeing the virus spread into the root towns...I don't know which way I'm headed any more. Is it bringing only destruction? What do I do?" Minari breathed deeply the purified air of the hospital room before standing and walking to the side of his friend's bed. "It should have been you who got it Yasu...not me. Not some newbie who didn't know how to even kill a goblin...but you, the great Orca of the Azure Sea. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I just...I just wish you were here."  
  
Reaching down to squeeze Yasuhiko's hand before turning to leave, Minari called back to his unconscious friend. "I'll...I'll be back tomorrow. I don't feel much like going back to The World for a while anyway. I hope you're not disappointed in me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I know you won't hold it against me but..." The young teenager sighed again and let his shoulders slump forward slightly. He noticed with some displeasure that his shoulders seemed to slump a bit more each day, as if The World were trying to crush.  
  
Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before leaving the room and letting the door close behind him, Minari left his friend as he had been since he'd fallen into the coma...alone. Had he looked closer at his friends face, he would have noticed the single tear slide from under Yasuhiko's eyelid and trace its way down his pale cheek.  
  
-To be continued 


	4. Chapter 4: Ballad of Lost Souls

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now or still think I own .Hack...you're sadly mistaken.  
  
A/N: Well, if you've read any of my stories, then you'll know that I am a big fan of one of three types of stories...angst, fluff, and fluffy-angst. This falls in there somewhere. Hope you like it. Oh, and as always, please review any works you've read. Thank you much.  
  
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Broken Chapter 4: Ballad of Lost Souls  
  
Delta-Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground. The digitally rendered cathedral sat within the solitary field, isolated from the rest of The World. It was fitting in so many ways that the Heavy Blade found herself here sitting in the front-most pew of this lonely gothic church, separated from all others who played within this online paradise. She couldn't suppress the mild amusement at the ideal that she and the church were very much the same.  
  
She wondered how it had come to this...how she and her partner had lost the hope that they were doing what was right. Of course, maybe she was just naïve enough to believe they had hope to begin with. Maybe it was just that doing anything was better than suffering the uncertainty of doing nothing. Life just wasn't simple anymore. Or perhaps, life was never simple; it was the veil she used to separate her life from the rest of the world that had tricked her.  
  
She didn't have the answers anymore, and that was what had scared her. Her life, though not perfect, was at least happy before everything started happening. Before her brother had fallen into his coma and had not awakened. And she realized why she was suddenly so uncertain. It was because of Kite; he was her anchor, her support and the scale that balanced her life. But now he had lost his way and she found herself adrift in the sea of uncertainty.  
  
She had sent him an email, asking whether he was still intent on fighting to bring back the coma patients. Of course, that had been over an hour ago, and with every passing minute, the hope that he would actually come slipped further away. But if for no other reason than closure, she had to know that it was over. And so, sitting on the wooden bench, she began thinking of excuses and alibis as to his absence. Maybe he hasn't logged on yet, maybe he had some other things to attend to, maybe...maybe he just didn't want to talk to her. And despite her best efforts to believe otherwise, the latter seemed more and more likely with each passing second.  
  
"I don't understand it anymore..." BlackRose said as she stared into the unseeing eyes of the chained statue of Aura perched on the pedestal behind the gated fence. It was a statue that represented the girl that held the answers to all the problems they wanted to solve. But it seemed unlikely they'd solve any of it. Aura was nothing short of a mystery, masked in a riddle and wrapped in an enigma. She and Kite were no closer to figuring out what was happening in The World than they were when they had started.  
  
But still, for whatever reason, she kept hope that he would come, because the alternative was beyond her willingness to contemplate. And as if on cue, she heard the hinges of the large wooden doors of the church howl in protest as the lone Twin Blade pushed them open. She didn't turn in her seat to watch him walk up the aisle, it was more of a bond that she felt, knowing the figure approaching was her partner.  
  
He walked up to her, standing just to her right and staring at her while shuffling his feet as if he wasn't sure whether to take the seat next to her or continue standing. But she made the decision for him, as she slid her body slightly to the left and made room for him on the bench, which he took with some reservation. They both sat silently for several minutes, staring at the statue of Aura, or the stain glass windows or just at the floor, neither really sure how to begin, and it was that awkwardness that made them both aware of how nervous they were, for it never existed between them before.  
  
"Can...can I tell you something?" BlackRose said, breaking the silence that seemed to encompass the whole of their lives. "My brother, Kazu...fell into a coma here."  
  
Kite's eyes opened wide as he stared at BlackRose. He knew she had a mission of her own, and often wondered about it, but didn't want to pry into her life. But he realized that was foolish...they were both deeply involved with the events surrounding The World as it was, their lives included. "Your brother?" He asked, hoping to mask the shock of the realization and failing horribly.  
  
"Yeah." She replied, not giving any indication to Kite's shock as she bowed her head and closed her eyes as if trying to organize her thoughts before continuing. "For the longest time, I thought it was my thought. See, Kazu is a bit of a computer geek. I like sports myself, and never played games much...but he wanted me to see The World. I think he wanted to play the game with me, so we'd spend more time together. He wasn't very athletic and was always left behind in sports and stuff, so he wanted something where we were on even ground. That's why I think he wanted to show me this place.  
  
"I think about it now...it's like he thought I was growing up without him. I guess maybe I was, and I didn't think about any of it until all this happened. It sort of put everything in perspective." BlackRose said sadly, turning only slightly to look at Kite out of the corner of her eye. She noticed that his face was painted with concern as he watched her intently. She wished she could find the courage to look at him fully, to see what he thought of her confession, but instead she closed her eyes and tumbled on with her story.  
  
"Yeah, so Kazu told me to pick the keywords at the Delta Chaos Gate. I really didn't want to bother with it, so I picked any three keywords. Didn't really matter to me. Stupid huh?" She said bitterly, opening her eyes a fraction to allow the tear to glide down her cheek. "I never thought something like that would happen. But he met a Data Bug here, that same one you data drained when we first met, remember? It didn't matter though; he still hasn't wakened up. For the longest time though, after it happened, I blamed myself...I guess maybe I still do. Maybe if I were closer to him, he wouldn't feel the need to connect with me through an online game. Maybe I would have been more careful about the words I picked. But it just hurts...I'm sure you understand that."  
  
Kite felt his heart rip apart at hearing BlackRose's story. He knew what she was going through, he felt that guilt everyday with Yasuhiko, and he wondered what could ever be done to rid himself of it. Perhaps if he knew, he could help BlackRose as well. Reaching his hand out cautiously before pausing, shocked at what he was doing, Kite finally gathered the courage to rest his hand on his partner's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault BlackRose."  
  
"Saying it doesn't make it true Kite." She whispered, trying desperately not to break down entirely at the tender support of her partner's hand on her shoulder. "Tell me you feel any different about Orca?"  
  
Kite fell silent at the harsh accusation of the Heavy Blade and made to remove his hand until her hand caught his arm by the wrist and shyly returned it to her shoulder. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "I'm sorry I forced myself on you when we first met...and I'm sorry I told you all this stuff. I know you have your own problems and everything, it's just..."  
  
"Don't." Kite said, breaking her confession by putting the fingers of his free hand over her lips to quiet her. Blushing furiously at the sudden action, Kite lowered his hand and dropped his eyes to stare purposefully at the floor. "Please don't apologize. It was just, ever since that last system reset...ever since the virus had worked its way into the root towns, I was scared. What if we defeat the next Phase and it gets worse. I mean," Kite paused, as if caught by the uncertainty of his words. "What if everything just keeps deteriorating? Are we really doing more good than harm?"  
  
BlackRose reached up to grasp the hand perched on her shoulder and squeezed it slightly, trying to reassure her partner and herself. "All we can do is try. We won't accomplish anything if we just quit."  
  
"But what if the thing we accomplish is the wrong thing? What if we only cause more problems?" Kite asked her. At this, BlackRose fell silent. She knew he was afraid of what they were doing, of what they had done. She knew that fear so well because it was the same fear that tore at her whenever she looked at one of the root towns or the many infected dungeons. It was the fear that threatened defeat. "I don't know if we can trust that we're doing the right thing anymore."  
  
BlackRose closed her eyes and took several deep breaths as if pondering how to react to his fear...and to hers. Opening her eyes, she turned to face her partner, determination shining once again in her champagne-colored orbs. Taking his hand in hers, she pressed them together palm against palm, and intertwined her fingers with his. She placed her other hand on his shoulder as he had done to her and bent forward to look him in directly in the eye. "If we can't believe in what we are doing...then let's at least believe in each other. I lost my brother to this damn game, and you lost your friend. We both want them back...but that's not going to happen if we give up." BlackRose paused momentarily, pulling Kite forward until their foreheads came to rest against each other's. "My mom told me that Kazu isn't gone, he's just lost. That all I have to do is help him find his way back...but I can't do it alone Kite. I'm scared to even try to do this alone.  
  
"I know I act all big and brave, but deep down I'm just a scared newbie. The truth is, the only reason I've made it this far is because of you. I mean...I don't think I would have gotten anywhere if it wasn't for you." BlackRose said, her eyes locked on those of her partner as she tried to ignore the clouding of her eyes.  
  
"Your wrong BlackRose." Kite said shyly as he pulled his partner closer into his embrace and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Mistral told me that she couldn't play anymore...that she was afraid of what we were doing. So, I started wondering if anyone else would leave me, if this were all becoming too much for any of my other friends. In truth, the person I was most afraid of leaving was you." He said, his voice shyly quiet as he tightened his arms around her, thankful she couldn't see the blush that stained his cheeks. "Through everything I've been through, the one person who has been at my side the entire time was you. So your wrong...it wasn't that I got you where you are, it's that you are the person who got me where I am now. That's what I was most afraid of...I don't know what I'd do if you decided you couldn't do this anymore."  
  
BlackRose struggled desperately now to keep her eyes from pouring with emotion as she too tightened her embrace on her partner. It took her a moment to find her voice, yet even then her words came out shaky and uncertain. "You'd probably do the same thing I'd do if you decided to leave...and I don't really want to think about it. But now that you know my reasons for sticking with you...you shouldn't worry. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
The Heavy Blade felt her partner's body inflate and decompress with the deep sigh that escaped him. Nodding his head against her, he spoke in the same quiet tones that were so reflective of his character, yet his words were stronger and more confident. "You're right BlackRose. I...I still don't know if I can trust what we're doing is right, but I have trust in you. Whatever happens, we're in this together."  
  
BlackRose closed her eyes and smiled against Kite's tunic, feeling the bond between the two of them forge into an unbreakable friendship. She was still afraid...they both were, but they would face that fear together, and she knew, they would destroy it. Untangling herself from his embrace, she put her hands on his shoulder and moved away, holding him at arms length as she stared in his eyes again and saw from his eyes the commitment of their words bind them in their common objective. Smiling her brilliant smile at him, her eyes flashed in the confident glimmer that he so often associated with her. "It's about time you came to your senses."  
  
Kite could only chuckle as a small smile tugged at his lips. He realized with some amazement that it was the first smile he could remember since the defeat of Magus. "You too." He said, his smile stretching until it seemed ready to split his face.  
  
"Hey!" She said, pushing him lightly yet chuckling a litter herself. Standing up and stretching the stiff muscles in her back and legs, BlackRose looked down at her partner, her smile fading as she began shuffling her feet nervously. "Still, I want to say thank you Kite. Partly for all the stuff you said, and partly because you're not giving up. It means a lot to me. I just wanted to say thanks."  
  
"Uh...I want to thank you too BlackRose." He said, standing to face his partner. "I have no doubt this will be difficult, but knowing your right there beside me will make it easier."  
  
"Hey," She said, putting her hand on his shoulder again. "What are friends for, right? Besides, now that I know your not giving up, you're going to have a hard time getting rid of me." Again she smiled and Kite returned it, causing them both to blush and shift their weight nervously from one foot to the other.  
  
Nervously taking her hand in his, Kite was surprised that she made no effort to pull away from his touch. "So, shall we go partner?"  
  
Squeezing his hand gently in response, BlackRose smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."  
  
-The End 


End file.
